i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
