I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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