Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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