Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
another moral hangover. fuck.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
please come you make the beer taste better
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
