My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
