You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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