Jerry, you need to find god
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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