I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
