yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
