she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
