I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
