marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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