Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
