what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
