Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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