Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
