Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
