He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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