she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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