Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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