ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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