I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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