I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Panties = found
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