You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize