Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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