Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
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