We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
