ugly people sure do ruin things
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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