I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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