I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Naked. naked and bneed help.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
