Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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