Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
