True but thats because hes a fetus.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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