Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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