FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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