he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
