Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I will be naked everywhere
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
