I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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