end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
