Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
