It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
