dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
