She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
