Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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