me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
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