it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
