Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
