He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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