Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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