I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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