just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
