she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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