I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
