So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
dude. I can hear the air.
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