He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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