Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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