Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
