So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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