My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
this hospital has no fireball
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
