My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
