oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize