i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Ladies don't puke and tell
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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