dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize