it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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