Don't you send me to vm
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
